Hi Keith! Thanks for commenting and not calling me a whore like that other guy. đź‘Ś
Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough go of it. My gut tells me you don’t trust the reason your girlfriend gave for wanting to stay together after she got busted. (Also, it’s not my gut telling me this, it’s the fact that you’re asking a stranger on the internet for a second opinion.)
I’m unpopular in my circle because I think all relationship problems ultimately come back to you, whoever “you” are that has the problem. By that, I mean your girlfriend’s problems in your relationship are her problems, and your problems in your relationship are your problems. It’s the same relationship, underneath two different sets of baggage. Baggage can be from how you were raised or from fucked up prior relationships.
Either way, it’s 100% easier to heal a relationship once you’ve figured out whose baggage is whose.
I bring this up now because I think you need to do some soul-searching on how you feel about your lady, without her affair in the equation. Check out your own baggage. Do you love her? Are you just afraid of being alone? Do you think she loves you back? If she does, can you trust her again? Why or why not? What events from your past might be influencing these answers? There are many more questions to ask yourself, but those are a good start.
If you’re afraid of the answer to any of those questions (and if you’re anything like me, you are), answer them anyway. It only feels like you’re dying, but it’s fine.
Oh and as for your original question, before I went rogue and started rambling, I can’t relate to what she said about being intimidated by stability. Any time I’ve been caught in an affair, I usually already wanted out of the relationship — being caught gave me an excellent excuse to bail. The fact that she didn’t may mean something.
And go see a fucking couple’s counselor — this could all be terrible advice I’m giving you!
