Yeah, my employer might care about the culture, but do they know why they care? It's possible that I'm missing some fundamental bonding requirement, but why do we all have to participate in a "culture" in order to work together? Why do we all have to share a core set of similar viewpoints? Isn't that the opposite of "diversity?" Physical diversity is all well and good, but you also need diversity of viewpoint.

I'm not saying you shouldn't encourage your employees to bond, but in the past, when I've worked at companies who pushed office culture, it was just a vehicle for them to push groupthink. They didn't actually care about a cohesive culture - they just wanted everyone to be uniform and not cause problems. That's fine - it's their company and maybe that's what they needed to fulfill their mission. But if that's the case, they should say that - include it in your mission statement or something. Don't hide it behind the buzzword "culture" and insist I attend boring pizza parties in order to show my devotion.

I recognize it's entirely possible I'm in the minority and am just an antisocial curmudgeon, but I also have plenty of marketable skills. Why do I have to pretend to be something else in order to work for the man??

In other words, I can do the job very well, I just don't wanna come to your pizza party afterward, okay? haha

Appalachian comedy writer living in San Francisco. Laughter is the best medicine if you don’t have any real medicine. sherrymayle.com to subscribe.

Appalachian comedy writer living in San Francisco. Laughter is the best medicine if you don’t have any real medicine. sherrymayle.com to subscribe.